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When tender minds of kids are toned in very early period their lifetime as adults by force would ‘do’ no good to the society…. This way the power lateral thinking in a kid start diminishing and start accepting the adult/matured thinking. This is true…. because we dont see any Aristotles, Newtons, wrights, Einstiens in our kids these days…. we see a mini robots who acts on the instructions passed by parents, teachers and elders. Can you see the future of kids who haven’t born yet and where is this snowballing effect will take them?
The main reason is the educated parents thinks a lot n feels he knows a lot of things and the parent wants his child to be a superkid.. does not allow him to be himself parent teaches the kid how to sit, stand, eat etc… their are other things in life parent needs to teach him eating sitting standing he will learn as he needs to survive.. In the mad rush of education parents just think abt education and put a good school. What is a good school can anyone define what is a good,
Parent shud not impose on the kid he shud become a doc engineer Pls dont suggest profession. Did newtons parents tell him to be scientist they gave him the liberty to be himself.. we are humans we need liberty to be ourself.. and not controlled like robos
Kids are so innocent and bring smiles to our faces. One day, my seven years old nephew saw his old jacket which his younger sister used to wear. He picked that jacket to keep inside the cupboard. His mother said that the jacket is small for him and his sister and therefore cannot be worn. My sweet little was so disappointed and replied,’ O yes, first i used to wear this and later my sister. And it has shrunk so much that doll in the house can only wear it.’ He didn’t realise that the jacket is not shrinking but he is growing.
My life revolves around my 9 year old daughter,Asmita.I call her Diya,which means light. She is my little princess whose happiness matters to me the most,to see a glimpse of smile on her face I can do anything.
I love to spend time with my little sweetheart,it makes me feel very relaxed.She is an angel who is there with me through the good an bad time.The days when I am depressed she takes care of me like a mom.She makes me feel very proud:)
i saw ur comment …………….. i also luv my son vry much ::))))) his name ISHAN . he is vry gud n lukng gud ……. he izz vry stng n face ny type of prb ….. god bless u my my child….
Ma” the word itself is so emotional and expressive and as God has given us the boon to feel a child all from inside and of course, after birth, with all our emotions and sentiments……it is our primary and wholesome duty to thank God by helping these masses of energy, our children grow up and be responsible citizens of the country. I a…m into a profession that actually deals with expressions, well I’m a scriptwriter, and my profession has made me get acquainted with many people, from different walks of life…… A lot of talking and sharing made me realize that parents of today feel that children are more smarter to take up hard work as they have to compete, and in turn from a very tender age the start over burdening the kids with not studies….which normally they can cope up with but the various co-curricular activities.
When we were small we knew this was one field which grew out of love of it but at present the concept has been given a total different definition… which is hardly helping the tender growing mind. They are not getting the space to grow….Besides a script writer I at times groom the little ones in the summer camps and I have seen the potential they have in them. Freedom has always helped them give out the best.
You can always motivate them not by pushing to the crucial world of competition but by making them grow the love of whatever extra you want them to learn…… As “ma” lets make them aware of the hidden potential in them and not overburden them with anything they do not love to do.
The little ones every year have eagerly wanted to come back to the camp only to meet and play and paint and enjoy their freedom with me as I feel they are the most precious responsible to me.
May God bless each one of you!
Well “A Teacher” quite a small word yet is huge and overloaded with meaningful expressions some of course that can be expressed or flatly explained but mostly felt. Explanation would be a Friend, Philosopher and Guide. Just after the Birth …of a child and till the time he/she is going to school mother plays the vital role, someone who is the most important one and obviously the baby is the most secured, but from the first day in school this huge responsibility is shared only by a teacher…. Well all mothers send their children to schools and most of our children love going to school because they know two caring and loving hands await….to impart values,knowledge and the little one’s, the hands that play, encourage and of course correct the wrong and clap to their achievements. Hats off to all the Teachers and Thank You to all my Teachers!
As I speak of teachers I surely would like to share a small incident and that is my son is fond of eating and he loves to eat food of different taste and it was in his school that he did not like his tiffin, instead of sharing with his friends or sitting silently he went up straight to his mam and explained her the whole story and shared his tiffin with mam……..The incident only explains a healthy and caring relationship between a teacher and a student!
Children are so innocent, yet challenging! It was just yesterday that all our family members together watched the final match being played at Mumbai, and as the Team proudly and magnificently took the Trophy my 4+ year old son came running in the room and kissed me and said “Mamma India’s won the Trophy next it’ll be me as I will win the best Academic child of the year”! We clapped and caressed him but I sat down wondering “Motivation on the right way is an absolute must …. you need not scold the child or keep nagging him/her but let them have their aim set just their way and you keep watering it and the fruit is there making both the child and his/her parents and teachers happy.
Its a very old saying” paet bharke khalo”and we come across the saying even today! Its true that we eat to fill our stomach but today when society, media and various other institutions make us aware of the fact that we must eat not just to fill but the filling must be absolutely balanced. A balanced diet does not mean a bowl full of cerelac or a piece of pizza or pastry, food filled with artificial taste, colour or preservatives but any home made food, a little tasty yet simple and wholesome. A child doen’t love to drink milk so why not curd or cottage cheese instead of chocolaty milk…..Parents find it easier but its tougher on a child’s health. All these seminars keep organizing the child health awareness programs only to make us parents aware, how to switch over to home made food then why these fast food….. its our children and our future…let them grow up naturally!
The Friday before Easter is the most solemn day for Christians – it is the day on which Jesus Christ died on the cross. This day is known as Good Friday, Holy Friday, Great Friday or Black Friday. As such, Good Friday is a day of mourning, and all the ceremonies and rituals of the day are centered on the feeling of sorrow, at the pain and humiliation that Jesus underwent for the cause of goodness and humanity. The message of Good Friday is that the dictum of “an eye for an eye” cannot work. The way to conquer evil is through good. Similarly, violence can be overcome only by non-violence and hatred by love.
Good Friday is devoted to fasting and prayer, as a way of following the example of Jesus, who stressed the role of prayer in the struggle to conquer evil. The service consists of prayers and readings from the Bible. In many churches, a piece of wood in the shape of the cross is kept. People pray before the cross and kiss it. Jesus is believed to have died on the Cross at three in the afternoon. Therefore, the traditional service lasts for three hours from noon. Some churches concentrate less on prayers, and instead, encourage people to become involved in charitable deeds.
In some churches, mourners wear black and enact the Passion of Christ – scenes of Christ’s crucifixion and burial. Many churches cover the cross and the altar with mourning black, and do not light any candles. At other churches, candles are lit, but they are extinguished one by one, with the last one being put out at the moment denoting Jesus’ death. The church bells are not rung on Good Friday. Catholic churches follow the tradition of the Stations of the Cross. People pass before paintings depicting the important scenes of the last hours of Jesus’ life, reciting prayers and singing hymns.
With so much of corruption around lets take an oath that we can contribute our little way honestly to save our Earth and our society to help our future generation grow up in a Better India! Lets pray to the Lord for courage to speak the truth, follow the right path and motivate others rightly coz our children follow us!
“The English writer E.M. Forster began one of his novels with a two-word epigraph: “Only connect.” These two words perfectly express the shift we must make, from one worldview to another, if we are to find reliable happiness. We must move from trying to control the uncontrollable cycles of pleasure and pain, and instead learn how to connect, to open, to love no matter what is happening.
The difference between misery and happiness depends on what we do with our attention. Do we, in the midst of water, look for something elsewhere to drink? Transformation comes from looking deeply within, to a state that exists before fear and isolation arise, the state in which we inviolably (secure from violation or profanation) whole just as we are. We connect to ourselves, to our own true experience, and discover there that to be alive means to be whole.
There is a word in Buddhist psychology, tathātā, that can be translated as “thusness” or “suchness.” It describes a state in which the totality of our being is present; our awareness is not fragmented or divided. In the state of suchness, some part of ourselves is not sitting elsewhere waiting for something better or different to happen. We are not relating to our experience with either desire or aversion, but rather we acept what comes into our lives and let go of what leaves our lives. We are completely present and not beguiled by the token happiness promised by conventional assumptions. In experiencing the freedom of suchness, we discover who we actually are.” – Sharon Salzberg
Darwin’s Perspective: When we think of being “whole” we often visualize a shape that is undivided (e.g. a pie without any slices removed). In this view, something that is not whole has something missing. And since we don’t walk around believing that part of us is missing, we tend to think of ourselves as being whole. As such, this brings forth an interesting reaction that can arise when we read Sharon Salzberg say, “We connect to ourselves, to our own true experience, and discover there that to be alive means to be whole.”
In a physical existence, we identify our “self” as being that voice in our head and our physical Body. But in a spiritual existence, we accept that we are the collective consciousness of our Body, Spirit and Mind. In this Self, each part of the whole has an active intelligence that contributes to our conscious experience. In this version of whole we find that sensations, feelings and thoughts connect us to the life that is unfolding in front of us right now. We get out of a physical existence and into the conscious, spiritual experience of living.
But how do we remain in this blissful state? In times of meditation and prayer, we easily slip into this heightened and conscious experience. Time slows down, everything becomes intensified and we recognize our divine relationship to God. However then comes the next morning: the day begins and we find ourselves back in the flow of a physical existence with the rest of Humanity.
The concept of tathātā reminds us to stay completely connected to the present moment. It is in this state that we can recognize the inherent beauty and bliss that is available in every encounter, each moment and this breath. Tathātā is balanced by Śūnyatā (emptiness, nothing, zero or voidness). In combination, we exist in a conscious state that is completely present and unattached. It is here that we experience God in the beauty of a flower, the laugh of a child and the divinity of breath.
These two states of Tathātā and Śūnyatā can be viewed as reminders of how we can experience life no matter the circumstance. As we connect in mediation and prayer, so too can we connect in times of crisis. The blissful consciousness that guides us in good times is so too present in times of heartache and misery. By seeking suchness, we remain in collective consciousness and derive the blessings of
This I feel every parent should read as it will help them guide their children to grow up as a good and responsible human being.
Everytime I visit a mall or a movie theatre or someone’s place or for that matter any other random place, I am amazed by the use of English as the primary language of conversation between parents and kids. What surprises me the most is that they’ve become so comfortable speaking english that they’ve to search for words if they’ve to speak something in Hindi. I don’t know if many parents will agree with me on that but aren’t we intentionally keeping our kids away from our national Language (which to mostly half of the country is the mother tongue) I’ve lived in England and have come across people from different countries living in that english speaking country but when it comes to talking to their kids they prefer using their mother tongue. They do not have any qualms with doing so. They r not even ashamed that they can’t speak english very well. Why is that only Indians have issues with being Hindi-bhashi? Are we not killing our regional and National languages slowly buy not introducing our kids to them. English is taught at all schools but who is going to teach the kids to value our own languages? We r preparing our kids to be global citizens by making them well versed English speakers but what about their own language???? I think we all need to re-think about it.
In order for you to be a good parent, you have to study good parenting skills. Good parenting contrary to general believe, is a full time work. Therefore, one of the major keys of good parenting is to know some mistakes that can be made by parents and learn your lessons from it in case of the other time. Here are four characters of a good parenting:
a. Availability: Despite that your days are full of activity or in busy period, always make yourself available for your children. Make sure that you are there for him or her when you are needed especially. Give yourself to them and let them feel your availability. Make them feel that they are important beings to you. Create a certain time or period and spend with them everyday. Do not wait till your time of tiredness from work before attending to them. Dedicate a quality period to them. It might be having a short walk with them, watch their favorite program with them on television or reading book with them. Spending money on them is not the issue but showing them love and let them know.
b. Appreciation: This is another technique of good parenting skills. This strong drive which leads to good behavior in children. It is very motivating to appreciate your children. Show your appreciation to your children whenever they behave very well. When they do something good, appreciate them because everybody loves encouragements as children are highly sensitive to been appreciated. Appreciation is a technique that assists your children to know the different between the wrong and the right thing. The potentials of been of good behavior continue to show forth in them when they are appreciated the more on their good behavior.
c. Affection: Everybody wants to be loved most especially the children. Children always look for means by which they can be loved by their parents and outsiders. You as parent are their point of concentration. Your children will love to please base on their originality. You have to know that the fundamental and principle of a durable relationship between parent and children is love. Therefore, love your children and let them know that you love them
d. Acceptance: Both parents and young children love to be accepted. As you are moving contrary to your way, let them know that they are accepted for any reasons. By so doing, they will have a level of self worth and rate high their level of self esteem. Acceptance in good parenting makes your children to feel being secured. If you refuse to show the act of acceptance to your children, then they cannot get it anywhere and they know it.
In conclusion, good parenting skills are studied for a period of time and even with errors. Therefore, use your mistakes as your example and establish your guidelines that can make you a good parent. With adequate good parenting skills, you can raise a good family and children peacefully.
Well Said Mukta!
Trying to keep a family intact in India amidst the havoc of Mental Illness
How quickly the days have flown. The months of August and September have come and gone. It is the beginning of October. There is so much to write about but I could not find the time to sit down and type out the words that need to be written. For one it takes so much longer to do all the regular activities to keep the home going and then of course the efforts to keep life going on in even keel – which can be so exhausting.
Over the years I have found that when the home is kept functioning well with regular meals being cooked, everyone in the family is so much more content. During the periods when my daughter is well, she cooks. Feeling well is when as she puts it,’when the thoughts come in slow and silent, when the ability to focus persists for some time, when the hands are able to be steady, when the feeling of apathy disappears and energy surfaces’. She loves trying out recipes from various cookery books. When she cooks I enjoy the aromas coming from the kitchen that bring the promise of a tasty meal.
Chores are generally defined in any home in the sense that which family member does what. The lines have become blurred in our home. For with chronic schizophrenia hovering around, one of us has to do more or the everyday tasks need to be prioritised otherwise arguments break out leading to more exhaustion and depleted energy which is just not worth the while. The daily tasks in a home are varied depending on the family resources and where one stays. For us it includes filling up water for the day, switching on the pumps in the morning to pump up the water into overhead tanks, boiling water for drinking, cooking meals, shopping for milk, fresh vegetables and fruits, watering the potted plants, combing the old cat who doesn’t like to be combed, cleaning her litter box and cuddling her while she purrs with contentment. A weekly task which my husband does is filling up the daily medication for our daughter, into pill- boxes which are now available in India. It takes more than an hour to segregate and cut some of the pills and put them into different compartments which make it convenient for her to take them in the morning and evening.
And then there are the visits to the hospitals every month for the three of us. The hospitals lie in different directions. The roads have become so crowded these days. On the roads I can see more and more people who have left their villages – for they stand out. Innocent bewildered faces, wearing the distinct colourful attire of their villages watching their children perform cartwheels at the traffic lights. The children thrust their hands into the windows of cars for coins before the traffic light turns green. They seem oblivious of the slush being splattered on them by the passing vehicles.
When I see them I wonder if it is failing crops and hunger that have brought them to this city. How would they cope with the changes? Especially the trauma of living homeless in this city keeping the fragments of the dignity and culture they grew up in. And what if their anguish became so unbearable triggering into a serious mental illness? How would they take care of their loved one when there was not enough money for food? It is during times like these that I fervently pray and thank God for the blessings that have been given to us to take care of our child.
For as technologically and economically advanced as we are as a country, people living with serious mental illness in India and the families they live with – have been neglected by successive governments. They are left to fend on their own with limited resources, with no awareness of treatments, not knowing how to manage the episodes of psychosis, violence and attempts at suicide, no places to recover from the relapses, no insurance to meet the expenses, no opportunities to earn some kind of livelihood and no one in the Government with courage to come forth to help them. They can only discover and learn what to do only through their own painful experiences. Sometimes they adapt, sometimes they grieve at the loneliness of it all, and those that can, try their best to keep their families intact amidst the havoc wreaked by these illnesses.
I came across the letter and thought sharing this would be something helpful.
Sagarika the letter was an eye-opener.India’s afffluence is also breeding these ilnesses.
Good Family Values:
Everything starts with good family values.
1) Positive Attitude:
No matter what, always be positive. Things can always be worse. Nobody loses, till they give up.
Examples:
You have a friend who always talks negative. Don’t ever try to force someone to change, but do remind your friend of the positive side. Eventually he or she will change on their own if they so choose, and thank you in the end, for showing them the better way.
I took a true age test one time, some years ago and found out, I was about 30 years older than my physical age, due to stress. I did not like feeling old prematurely, so I started working on a lifestyle change, A Positive Attitude!
Abraham Lincoln stayed positive:
* 1816: Lincoln had to work to support his family after they were forced out of their home
* 1818: His mother passed away.
* 1831: He experienced his first failure in business.
* 1832: He ran for state legislature and lost.
* 1832: He lost his job, and also wanted to go to law school but he could not get in.
* 1833: Failed in business for the second time and was declared bankrupt after borrowing money from a friend. The next 17 years of his life were spent paying off his debts.
* 1835: His sweetheart died and he was devastated.
* 1836: He had a nervous breakdown and stayed in bed for 6 months.
* 1838: He campaigned to be the speaker of the state legislature and was defeated.
* 1840: He campaigned to to become elector and was defeated.
* 1843: He ran for Congress and lost.
* 1846: He ran for Congress again – and actually won.
* 1848: Ran for re-election to Congress and lost.
* 1849: He was rejected from the job of land officer in his home state.
* 1854: He ran to be Senate of the United States and he lost.
* 1856: He campaigned to be the Vice-Presidential nomination at for his party but received less than 100 votes.
* 1858: He ran for Senate again, and lost again.
* 1860: He was elected president of the United States.
And he won.
With a positive attitude, you will have less stress, smile more and live happier. The mind is a powerful thing, you CAN be what ever you want to be!
2) Honesty:
Always be honest with others and yourself. Little lies build into big lies and somebody always gets hurt.
You lose their trust and eventually their friendship. Trust is so easy to lose, but so hard to regain.
Remember the boy who called wolf too many times. One day he really did need help and nobody believed him.
P.S. you can stretch the truth a little, if it is meant to boost someone’s self-esteem, but only for good.
3) Hard Working:
Whether it be at work, school, play or even on a relationship. Always work hard at everything you do, it does pay off in the end.
Whether it be a pat on the back, a way to go, getting the love of your life or getting that big raise at work. It always pays off!
So always give 100% at whatever you do and always earn your keep. Never take something, somebody else worked hard for.
You will be rewarded for your efforts, have less stress in life and love that great feeling called PRIDE.
4) Turn The Other Cheek:
Always be glad, not mad. It takes less effort (muscles) to smile then frown, this is a proven fact.
Somebody bullies you. Don’t get mad, that’s what they want. They obviously have some problems, instead, just smile and ask if you can help them, that’s what they need. This may not work at first, but stay positive and sooner or later they will come around or look for somebody else to bully, due to failure to turn you negative.
Always think before you act or speak. Sometimes, people get the wrong signal or meaning. If all else fails, walk away and try again tomorrow. If it’s important, never give up (Abraham Lincoln Above)
We are all born equal, you are loved by many when you are born. What happens through life, is a direct reaction of your personality, developed by your good or bad family values!!!
Live your own life, don’t let others live it for you.
Some of my favorite quotes:
“What goes around, comes around”
“Misery loves company”
“Smiles are contagious”
“Learn from your mistakes”
“Receive what you give, ten times over”
One of my favorite songs “Don’t worry, Be happy”.
One family at a time, one world reunited, we are all born equal. Read and reread good family values, learn it and live it. It is possible to live in peace and love, with no wars.
Pass this on to your friends, enemies and everyone else. Peace and joy be with you all!!!
Thank you and have a wonderful life.
The how to guide for homemade soap.
Materials:
* melt and pour soap
* fragrance oil of choice
* soap coloring
* soap molds
* tulle circles
* ribbon
* decorative charms
Melt and Pour Baby Soaps
What You Do:
Prepare the melt and pour soap according to the directions on the package. The specific directions will vary according to the type of soap, but melting is usually done in a double boiler or microwave oven. Do not boil or overheat the soap.
When the soap base is melted, add color and scent. I used baby powder fragrance. The amount added will depend on your preference, and how much soap you are making (usually about 1 teaspoon of fragrance per pound of soap, but check with your soap manufacturer instructions, as yours may vary slightly). It is always best to start with a smaller amount of fragrance then add a little more if needed; too much fragrance may cause your soap not to set right.
When adding the soap color use a little at a time and don’t add so much that the bubbles become colored as well; they should remain white or clear.
When choosing the molds, check the product description which should tell you how much soap is needed to fill each mold. Multiply the number of ounces specified for each mold, by the number of soaps you wish to make; this is the approximate amount of melt and pour soap that you need to buy, but it’s always nice to have a little extra in case of mishaps. My soap mold held four ounces of soap.
If you are planning on making your soaps in different colors, be sure to melt your soap in batches so you can color each batch individually. If your soap hardens too quickly simply remelt it and start over.
Once you have added both fragrance oil and soap color, pour the melted soap into the molds, then gently tap the molds several times to allow any air bubbles to rise to the top. Allow to set.
Unmold soap, and proceed with remaining batches until you have the number of colored soaps required.
Allow your soaps to rest for best results. Leave out on a flat surface for about a day, allowing them to harden properly and become more durable for handling.
For presentation, I used pastel colored tulle circles from the wedding section of the craft store. However, you can use any tulle yardage and cut it to suit your needs.
Place a stork soap in the center of the tulle, then bring up the sides to form a sack. Tie closed with pretty ribbon. After you have knotted the ribbon, thread on a decorative charm, then tie a bow, moving the charm to fall in front of the bow. Alternatively, you can hot glue the charm over the center of the the bow for a decorative accent.
Some people still think that a “good mother” is one who gives up work to stay home with her children. However, no scientific evidence says children are harmed when their mothers work. A child’s development is influenced more by the emotional health of the family, how the family feels about the mother’s working, and the quality of child care. A child who is emotionally well adjusted, well loved, and well cared for will thrive regardless of whether the mother works outside the home. A mother who successfully manages both an outside job and parenthood provides a role model for her child. In most families with working mothers, each person plays a more active role in the household. The children tend to look after one another and help in other ways. The father is more likely to help with household chores and child rearing as well as breadwinning. These positive outcomes are most likely when the working mother feels valued and supported by family, friends, and coworkers.
Parents all wish for the best start for their child. Unfortunately, many think, quality child care can be expensive and often hard to find. Many parents end up spending a large share of their paychecks for child care and still are not happy with the quality of the care their children receive. Finding quality child care is very important and it all lies in the values and lessons that you share and impart to your children. Standards for child care settings may vary depending on the type of child care. Parents can, however, improve their children’s child care programs by becoming actively involved. Taking an active role in your child’s care not only helps ensure a child’s well-being, but also may reduce any guilt or misgivings you may feel about working. Having quality child care and a good relationship with the caregiver also can ease some of the worry. Parents need to be especially attentive when they are with their children. The more involved parents are in all aspects of their children’s life—even when they are not physically with their children—the closer they will feel and the more effective they will be as parents.
It is the dilemma facing every working mother – how to devote enough time to their children, while juggling career demands with household chores.
Now, a new study has disclosed that in India, those who work outside the home spend on average two hours to three hours a day looking after their families – including meal times. Apart from this they also try sharing time with their children. But psychologists said it was more important how the time caring for children was used, and that less time than 81 minutes could be enough if it included fun activities which were sufficiently bonding.
The report examined how much time parents spent involved in childcare as a “primary activity” – covering things like meals, dressing, playing, and reading bedtime stories to children, and excluding time when the parent’s main focus was on another task. Of all parents, fathers with jobs spend the least time on such care – just 43 minutes a day.
Family relationships may suffer if both parents want to work but only one has a job. Problems also can occur if there is competition or resentment because one parent is earning more money than the other. Such conflicts can strain the marriage and may make the children feel threatened and insecure. With both parents working, the need for mutual support and communication is even more important. So focus on your work and family equally and push out ego.
Well parents these are my views and hope to get much more valuable discussions out of you.
Most kids plug into the world of television long before they enter school. According to a study
two-thirds of infants and toddlers watch a screen an average of 2 hours a day
kids under age 6 watch an average of about 2 hours of screen media a day, primarily TV and videos or DVDs
kids and teens 8 to 18 years spend nearly 4 hours a day in front of a TV screen and almost 2 additional hours on the computer (outside of schoolwork) and playing video games
The Indian Society of Pediatrics Development recommends that kids under 2 years old not watch any TV and that those older than 2 watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming.
The first 2 years of life are considered a critical time for brain development. TV and other electronic media can get in the way of exploring, playing, and interacting with parents and others, which encourages learning and healthy physical and social development.
As kids get older, too much screen time can interfere with activities such as being physically active, reading, doing homework, playing with friends, and spending time with family.
Of course, television, in moderation, can be a good thing: Preschoolers can get help learning the alphabet on public television, grade schoolers can learn about wildlife on nature shows, and parents can keep up with current events on the evening news. No doubt about it — TV can be an excellent educator and entertainer.
But despite its advantages, too much television can be detrimental:
Children who consistently spend more than 4 hours per day watching TV are more likely to be overweight.
Kids who view violent acts are more likely to show aggressive behavior but also fear that the world is scary and that something bad will happen to them.
TV characters often depict risky behaviors, such as smoking and drinking, and also reinforce gender-role and racial stereotypes.
Children’s advocates are divided when it comes to solutions. Although many urge for more hours per week of educational programming, others assert that no TV is the best solution. And some say it’s better for parents to control the use of TV and to teach kids that it’s for occasional entertainment, not for constant escapism.
That’s why it’s so important for you to monitor the content of TV programming and set viewing limits to ensure that your kids don’t spend too much time watching TV.
While many people have strong feelings about it, television is neither good nor bad in itself. Certainly some of the programmes are poor quality, and most parents ensure that their small children avoid over-violent or sexual shows. But there are also many excellent programmes available – documentaries on wild-life, travel shows, science demonstrations and the like. There are also plenty of harmless movies, and lots of children’s entertainment on TV.
Enjoyment and relaxation or mindless addiction to TV?
But where is the line between genuine enjoyment and relaxation in front of the TV, and an addiction that takes over life completely? Do you give your children totally free access, or limit them to certain shows and videos, or keep the TV generally switched off?
For many children, TV is simply one more activity to choose from during the day. If this is the case, there is no need to impose any restrictions as your child will view intelligently, occasionally, and gain a great deal from what he sees. This situation often occurs in homes where the parents always watch with the child, and have a variety of other activities on offer – outings, plenty of books, art and craft, construction toys and friends over to play.
Using the television as a babysitter
Unfortunately, in many families the TV is little more than a babysitter. If you sit your child in front of the TV (even a harmless video) while you do your baking or housework, you are in danger of raising a TV addict. Certainly there’s nothing wrong with 10-15 minutes relaxing in front of the TV – and if you need to do something on your own, a short babysitting period like this does no harm. But too often the parents see the child passively watching, and the ten minutes can turn into an hour or more. No longer is there any enjoyment – but an acceptance of whatever is shown.
There are also some children particularly prone to TV addiction. They are the ones who switch on first thing in the morning, and – despite plenty of other interesting activities available – persist in sitting watching, even when there is nothing they actually want to see. They lose interest in anything else, and seem to complain any time the TV is switched off.
Trying to get beyond TV addiction
When this happens, the best thing to do is plan a week of activities outside the home, and avoid switching the TV on altogether. If you are yourself reliant on the TV for entertainment, this may be difficult – but it will be of long-term benefit to the whole family. Alternatively try locking the set away upstairs for a week – or even a month!
The first few days may be hard as your child suffers withdrawal symptoms, but the worse he behaves, the more addicted he must have been. Make sure you offer sympathy, and plenty of interesting activities which use up his energy, as well as lots of nutritious food. Gradually his imagination and creativity should return and he will want stories, art and craft activities, and time to play with friends.
Planning television time together with your children
You can then (if you wish) reintroduce the TV with careful planning. Sit down with your child and the TV guide once per week and circle any programmes which he really wants to see. Discuss with him how long he feels is reasonable to spend each day watching TV. Talk about other activities, and what he must give up if he wants to watch TV – show him how much more time he had when the TV was off.
He may decide he doesn’t want to bother with TV at all, or that he would just like to watch one video as a family each week. Or he may have particular shows that he would like to see. Try to make sure this is no more than an hour per day at most, or the addiction may return. And watch everything with him, so you can switch off at the end. Discuss the shows, follow up any questions which arise, and remember that you can’t believe everything you see on TV. When you do these things, you are using this medium as a useful tool, rather than the controller of the entire family.
Managing shyness in children
This is one problem which many parents face. This can be overcome by following few simple tips.
Children are often shy in front of strangers. These children should be taken out to new places to get them acquainted to different environments. Donot force the child to speak to strangers. Once introduced, a child takes some time to get used to the place and people around. Let him take his time.
When the child is introduced to new enviroments. he will start adapting to the changes and get confident enough to tackle the change.
Dear Sagarika, Keep Up The Good Work!
The articles are worth reading n incorporating in daily life.
When we talk of Parent child friendship how many of us parents are
helping our children to enter a virtual world when after a certain
time they would fancy spending time separately by themselves and their
technology partner. Technology is being used to engage children either
to enhance creativity or merely keeping them busy
the world is buzzed with transition from blackboards, story books,
puzzles and play grounds to virtual board and cell phones or video
games or computers. Are we sure technology teaches children anything
and everything…. well experts say “A Big No, Then what are Parents
For!”
Under the proposal, each day parents should be encouraged to do the
following five tasks:
1. Read to their youngsters for 15 minutes
2. Talk to them for 20 minutes while the television is turned off.
3. Adopt positive attitudes to your children and praise them frequently.
4. Play with them on the floor for ten minutes
5. Provide a nutritious diet to aid their development.
Companies that make toys, children’s books and baby food would be
encouraged to brand their products with an official logo under the
proposed scheme, which is modelled on the successful “five-a-day”
fruit and vegetables dietary campaign.
Further recommendations of the scheme are that an additional child
benefit supplement is given to the poorest 20 per cent of the
population, as long as they attend parenting classes. This is to
encourage take-up of the parenting classes offered as part of the
scheme.
Research has found that the quality of parenting and educational
influences in the early months and years of a child’s life have an
overwhelming influence on their later progress at school and careers.
Typically, children from the poorest families are exposed to far fewer
words, less likely to read books with their parents and eat poorer
diets than their peers in wealthier homes. The result can be that
children from deprived homes fail to master essential literacy skills
and become
mentally and physically unhealthy.
The children’s minister, Sarah Teather, warmly welcomed the
proposals, whilst critics have branded the recommendations from the
CentreForum ‘ridiculous’ and another example of ‘nanny state
meddling’. Tory MP Philip Davies said: ‘It’s ridiculous. Anyone
would think we have money to burn in this country. It’s another
well-meaning, but ill-thought-out, hare-brained scheme.’
Wendell Samuel, a teacher admits “With the help of wireless
connectivity, I’m able to offer my students a live learning experience
but alas we’ve left behind the touch therapy that means a lot to our
student teacher relation.”
Nala was the ruler of Nishada. He was a very capable king and his country prospered under his rule. However, despite being one of the most handsome men of his time, he was still unmarried. One day a brahmin came to his court. On learning of his bachelor status he suggested the name of Damayanti, the daughter of the King of Vidarbh. He painted such an impressive picture of the princess that Nala fe…ll in love with her without seeing her.
At that it was uncustomary for a man to present his suit. He had to wait for the woman, or her father, to make the first move. Nala pined for Damayanti and began to neglect his state duties. He spent long hours in the garden of his palace dreaming about her.
A group of swans lived in the lakes in the garden. They daily observed the despondent king wasting his time. One day the leader of the swans approached the king and asked him what the matter was. The king informed the swan that he was in love with Damayanti but was unable to press his suit. He did not even know if Damayanti was in love with someone else. Custom prevented him from going to Vidarbh himself and this was too delicate a mission to entrust to someone else.
“If you think fit I can deliver your message,” said the swan. Nala lighted up. At last there was an end to his immediate problems. And there could be no more romantic way to woo a maiden. That night the swan left for Vidarbh. Every morning and evening Nala would go to his garden to see if the swan had returned and would be disappointed.
After a week he found the swan waiting for him. The news was good. Damayanti too had heard of him and had fallen in love with him. Now that she knew he reciprocated her love she would arrange for her swayamvara. A swayamvara was a ceremony in which the maiden chose her husband from a gathering of suitors present. She asked Nala to immediately come to Vidarbh as soon as her swayamvara was announced.
Getting a swayamvara arranged was not as easy as Damayanti thought. It would be highly improper of her to approach her parents directly. She began to drop hints by eating less and losing weight, by pretending to forget things, by looking lost and gloomy and other such things. At last her mother noticed that Damayanti was not her former self and told the king about it.
The king immediately ordered the royal physicians to find out what sickness was troubling her daughter. It was only after the physicians drew a blank that the king realised that his daughter was now a grown-up maiden and it was time for her to get married.
The swayamvara was announced. Nala left immediately. Since he was an excellent equestrian he made good progress. The news of the swayamvara had reached the heavens as well. Four of the demi-Gods, Indra, Agni, Varun, and Yama, had also descended to the earth for the swayamvara. They accosted Nala as he was nearing Vidarbh.
Indra told Nala that he would have to do them a favour. Nala protested that he needed to know what was being asked of him before he could commit. Indra got angry. “Humans consider it an honour when we ask them to do something. But you are creating a fuss. Don’t you know our power? We can make you disappear and not reach the swayamvara at all,” he thundered. Nala meekly acquiesced.
Indra then told him to approach Damayanti and plead with her to choose from the four demi-Gods. Nala was aghast. “How can I act against my own interest,” he pleaded. The threat of dire consequences was repeated. Nala tried a different route. “We are allowed in the palace only on the day of the swayamvara and that too only where the swayamvara is to be held,” he said, “How will I access Damayanti?” Indra reminded Nala that he was the king of the demi-Gods and would arrange the meeting.
A day before the swayamvara Indra transported Nala to Damayanti’s chamber using his divine powers. The two recognised each other instantaneously. After a long embrace Nala stated the purpose of his visit. Damayanti told him not to worry. He had kept the promise made to the demi-Gods and nothing could dissuade Damayanti from garlanding Nala in the swayamvara ceremony. Nala faithfully repeated the conversation to Indra. “You have kept your word only in letter and not in spirit,” Indra stated, “Now I will do what has to be done.”
A galaxy of princes was gathered at the swayamvara. Nala sat in one corner so as to avoid the demi-Gods, but they sought him out and sat next to him. At the appointed time Damayanti entered the hall. To her amazement she saw five people exactly like Nala sitting in a corner. She realised that the demi-Gods were trying to trick her but was confident that her love would prevail. After watching the five for a few minutes she realised that four stared at her with unblinking eyes while the fifth was blinking regularly. She garlanded the fifth person. The four demi-Gods assumed their true form and blessed the bride and groom and went back to heaven.
On the way the met Dwapar and Kali, two other demi-Gods. These presided over two of the four Yugas that make up one cycle of time between Creation and Destruction. Indra told them that the swayamvara was over and in any event it was a mere formality because Damayanti has already made up her mind. Dwapar and Kali felt that they had been cheated and swore that they would make life hell for Nala and Damayanti.
No sooner than Nala and Damayanti had settled down in their newly married life, Kali and Dwapar started their mischief. Kali entered the mind of Nala’s brother, Pushkar, and exhorted him to challenge Nala to a game of dice. Though Nala was a weak player he accepted the challenge assuming it will be friendly game. But Pushkar was being driven by Kali and the dice was being driven by Dwapar.
What began with the stake of a ring ended up with Nala losing everything he owned, including his kingdom. Then Pushkar asked Nala to stake his wife. “If you win I will return everything you have lost so far,” he added as an incentive. Nala thought for a while but in the end declined the offer. Pushkar made them leave the country on foot. Nala wore only a loincloth and Damayanti only a sari.
They roamed around in this manner for a few days eating roots and fruits. One night Nala saw a bird and decided to trap it. He took off his loincloth to snare it but the bird flew off with the cloth. They now had to hide during the day and move at night. Damayanti wrapped one end of the garment around Nala whenever they were near people. Totally exhausted they reached within striking distance of the capital of King Bhim, Damayanti’s father. Nala pleaded with Damayanti that she return to her father’s palace, but his wife did not comply.
That night while Damayanti slept Nala decided to leave her. He thought that she would return to her home after he deserted her. He tore off an end from her sari, just sufficient to cover the bare minimum, and quietly slinked away. Some distance away he saw that a snake was trapped in a burning bush. He doused the fire and freed the snake. As soon as he was freed the snake bit him and turned into a celestial being. “Do not worry,” he told Nala. “The poison will disfigure and discolour you but you need to remain incognito for some time. Whenever you feel that you have to return to your original self just wrap this garment around you. Travel in the south direction for five days. You will reach the kingdom of Rituparna. Win his confidence and take the opportunities as they come.” He handed Nala the magic cloth and went his way.
The poison had taken its effect. Nala’s skin had darkened and his body had shrunk and in all his appearance was more than hideous. He reached Rituparna’s kingdom and with some difficulty got an audience with the king and work in his stables. His prowess with horses soon reached the king’s ears. He began to choose and groom the horses for the king’s personal use. He also began to drive the king’s chariot on a regular basis. When he had gained sufficient familiarity with the king he requested that he would like to prepare a meal for the king. The meal was a big hit and Nala became the head of the stables and the kitchen and the king’s confidante.
Meanwhile Damayanti had reached the palace of the king of Chedi. When she found herself alone on that fateful night, she moved away from her father’s kingdom searching for Nala. The next night she was protected by a band of celestial beings, who put her with a caravan of merchants. However a herd of mad elephants destroyed a large portion of the caravan, and Damayanti because of her single garment and dishevelled state was immediately branded as a witch responsible for the tragedy.
Many in the caravan wanted to stone her to death but the leader took pity on her. “We will be passing the city of Chedi tomorrow and I will drop you in the marketplace there. After that you are on your own,” he warned. It was a case of out of the frying pan into the fire. The shopkeepers pushed her away fearing that she would bring bad luck. The pimps passed lewd comments and offered to take her to the brothel. One even threw a bad of coins at her. Some children thought she was being stoned and began to pelt her.
The king’s soldiers heard the commotion and intervened. They took her to the king, who immediately ordered that she be put in his mother’s care. For the first time since her exile Damayanti took a bath. After being given a meal Damayanti was presented before the Queen Mother. She thanked her for the hospitality but refused to disclose her identity. All she said was that she was searching for her husband. She looked for an opportunity to escape from the palace and continue with her search. But the palace was well guarded and her every attempt was thwarted.
Nala too had reached a dead end. He did not know how to proceed to look for Damayanti or to get back his kingdom. Both husband and wife were separately waiting for Fate to make the next move. Fate came to the rescue in the form of Damayanti’s father. After learning of the fate of his daughter and son-in-law he sent out emissaries in all directions in order to locate the couple. One messenger ultimately reached Chedi, where he learnt that a mad woman found in the market place was living in the palace of the Queen mother. He asked to see this woman and recognised her. Thus Damayanti was sent to her father’s kingdom.
Damayanti then sent emissaries to search for Nala. Since her father’s emissaries had found no trace of him she realised that he could be in disguise for some reason. She gave her men a question to ask anyone they thought could be Nala and to bring back the answer. The question was, “How much of a man is a person who not only deserts his wife in the middle of the night but also steals half her clothes?”
A few weeks later one of the emissaries reported, “King Rituparna has a new aide who is skilled in horsemanship and cooking, both areas in which King Nala is proficient. I sought out this man. Unfortunately he turned out be dwarfish and ugly and not like the King. However as per your instructions I asked him the question and he replied that if a person did that in order to make his obstinate wife return to her father then he was a man.”
Everything apart from the description fit. Damayanti had to meet this man. She announced another Swayamvara since Nala was missing for a long time and could now be presumed dead. She kept the notice so short that only the fastest riders would be able to make it. Rituparna heard of the Swayamvara and decided to participate.
Nala assembled the team of his best horses and set off with Rituparna to Vidarbh. On the way Rituparna’s scarf flew off and he wanted to retrieve it. Nala made a quick calculation of the horses’ speed and estimated the distance they had covered since then. He told the king that if they returned for the scarf they would miss the Swayamvara. Later they passed a row of fig trees.
Rituparna said that he could look at the fallen leaves and predict the number of leaves on the tree. Since they were nearing Vidarbh and were ahead of time Nala decided to test the king. To his surprise Rituparna was successful. On the final leg of the journey Rituparna told Nala that he was a fantastic gambler. Nala had not seen him play because no one was willing to play with him.
Damayanti was waiting on her balcony listening to the hoof beats as the carriages passed her palace. She immediately recognised the pattern of the hoof beats of the chariot being driven by Nala. She sent a maid to inquire who had arrived in the chariot and was informed that it was King Rituparna and his chariot driver. She was also informed that the king had refused the hospitality of Vidarbh and was asking his chariot driver to prepare his meal.
Damayanti then asked the maid to smuggle some item of food. The taste was identical to her husband’s cooking. Throwing all decorum to the winds she ran down to meet the chariot driver and was stunned to meet a dark, short and deformed man instead of a fair, tall and handsome Nala. She asked, “Why does a man want to send his dutiful wife back to her father’s home?” The man replied, “Because he has lost his kingdom and cannot support his wife in the manner she was accustomed to before their marriage.” He then put on the magic garments and was returned to his original form.
Rituparna congratulated Damayanti and told her that she had found her husband but he would lose not only his best horseman and best cook but also his best friend. Nala had a proposal for Rituparna. “I will stay with you for a while and teach you all that I know of horsemanship if you teach me all that you know of gambling.” He added that he was not interested in playing regularly but just one time in order to win his kingdom back. Nala and Damayanti moved to Rituparna’s kingdom. Soon Rituparna was an adept horseman and Nala an adept gambler.
Nala sent a challenge to his brother. He was willing to stake Damayanti if Pushkar staked the entire kingdom. Pushkar still felt that the victory was incomplete without his brother’s wife and readily accepted the challenge. This time Kali and Dwapar were not there to aid him and Nala had become an expert player. Pushkar lost everything back to Nala. Nala had half a mind to send Pushkar out in a loincloth, but he was a large-hearted man. He gave Pushkar a part of the kingdom and suggested that he mend his ways.
Nala and Damayanti then lived happily thereafter and they did not forget the swan who had so sportingly taken their messages of love.
One Of The Best Arguments.!! I have ever read
Don’t miss even a single word…. I…t’s Too good
An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and…..
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes..
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From….God…
Prof: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son…Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn’t exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture the after becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat..
But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light…..But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought.. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is
not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir… The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
I believe you have enjoyed the conversation…and if so…you’ll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same…won’t you?….this is a true story, and the
student was none other than …….
APJ Abdul Kalam, the former President of India
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Dear CM,
This great honor that has been given to you is unlike any other, but it is an honor that comes with heavy burdens. These next few years won’t be easy. There are many issues that need to be addressed now, because we can’t ignore what is dividing and hurting our beloved country any longer. Please listen to what I have to say, because I, like you, am a fellow Indian student who is concerned about our future nation.
Personally, I want you to abolish abortion. It is certainly not justified. I’m a teenage girl. I know of so many of my friends having abortions because of unwanted teen pregnancy. While I am upset and worried for them and their future, I certainly do not wish for them to murder their child for selfish desires. Teen pregnancy is a preventable problem that shouldn’t be solved by a permanent solution. This “problem” may not seem too pressing to most people at this time, but it focuses on a large portion of our nation–girls, women, and most importantly, their children. These unborn people are the future of our communities, our nation, and our world. We shouldn’t-you shouldn’t- allow their fate to be held in the hands of people deciding on a “quick fix” to a lasting solution.
Speaking of the future of the children of India, I’m concerned, as I’m sure you are, about the education of our future leaders. I’m a student. I want to get a good education in a good school from good teachers who enjoy their occupation. I don’t want my educational experience to be about “scores” and standardized tests. I actually want to learn and understand what I’m killing myself over to study. I don’t want to memorize a bunch of ridiculous facts just to earn a high score to prove something to someone. Maybe the nation’s dropout rate would decline if students actually enjoyed and benefited from school. I truly believe that you should emphasize a better education system during your term(s), because an equal, free education system is a huge part of the national dream. One great advantage of a democracy is the availability and accountability of a public school system, where every person has the wonderful opportunity to get an education–no questions asked. A free public school system goes hand in hand with a true democracy. As you can assume, I do not agree with the idea of free charter or private schools. Private schools are great and beneficial, but they should be paid for by the people who actually choose to attend them. This money should go towards bettering our public school system. I do not want to have to pay taxes in the future for schools my children do not attend.
I believe you will be a great leader who can direct the country back to prosperity, if you pay attention to these important issues and act wisely for the betterment of the nation. These problems may not be as pressing as the war or the economy, but they are still huge issues that have been affecting and will continue to affect the entire nation. I know that a real change or solution to these massive issues can’t happen overnight, but your influence and power over others can and will mark the future. Make these issues important.
Great post!
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allow children to go on their own world instead of computer, fast food etc etc.
now a days we don’t have much play grounds( the side roads we use to play before , now become heavy traffic roads)
so that make small places( small hall ) to play . and same time they can celebrate their Birthday s / parties etc.
that can be make happy children rather celebrating in luxury restaurants. and also develop their sports talents!
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It still seem that it was just the other day that my son was born, we all were overjoyed, realized the major responsibility of bringing up a child, a pure bundle of energy just the right way is not so easy but yes very challenging. Every small footstep he took was a big achievement for us but when your children choose and proudly choose parents as their role it becomes all the more challenging and tough for us parents. “I want to be just like you. And the instant question that spurs out of your mind is”Am I being a positive role model?” We all hope that children have good, strong role models who possess the kind of qualities that make our sons and daughters want to be (and become) better people. While there is some variation in every parent’s definition of what it means to be a good person, the following 7 characteristics of a positive role model remain constant.
(1) Model positive choice-making: Little eyes are watching and little ears are listening. When it comes to being a role model, you must be aware that the choices you make don’t only impact you but also the children who regard you as their superhero. Someday, they will be in the same predicament and think to themselves, “What did s/he do when s/he was in the same situation?” When you are a role model it’s not enough to tell your charges the best choices to make. You must put them into action yourself.
(2) Think out loud: When you have a tough choice to make, allow the children to see how you work through the problem, weight the pros and cons, and come to a decision. The process of making a good decision is a skill. A good role model will not only show a child which decision is best, but also how they to come to that conclusion. That way, the child will be able to follow that reasoning when they are in a similar situation.
3) Apologize and admit mistakes: Nobody’s perfect. When you make a bad choice, let those who are watching and learning from you know that you made a mistake and how you plan to correct it. This will help them to understand that (a) everyone makes mistakes; (b) it’s not the end of the world; (c) you can make it right; and (d) you should take responsibility for it as soon as possible. By apologizing, admitting your mistake, and repairing the damage, you will be demonstrating an important yet often overlooked part of being a role model.
(4) Follow through: We all want children to stick with their commitments and follow through with their promises. However, as adults, we get busy, distracted, and sometimes, a bit lazy. To be a good role model, we must demonstrate stick-to-itiveness and self discipline. That means; (a) be on time; (b) finish what you started; (c) don’t quit; (d) keep your word; and (e) don’t back off when things get challenging. When role models follow through with their goals, it teaches children that it can be done and helps them adopt an “if s/he can do it, so can I” attitude.
(5) Show respect: You may be driven, successful, and smart but whether you choose to show respect or not speaks volumes about the type of attitude it takes to make it in life. We always tell children to “treat others the way we want to be treated” and yet, may not subscribe to that axiom ourselves. Do you step on others to get ahead? Do you take your spouse, friends, or colleagues for granted? Do you show gratitude or attitude when others help you? In this case, it’s often the little things you do that make the biggest difference in how children perceive how to succeed in business and relationships.
(6) Be well rounded: While we don’t want to spread ourselves too thin, it’s important to show children that we can be more than just one thing. Great role models aren’t just “parents” or “teachers.” They’re people who show curiosities and have varied interests. They’re great learners and challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zones. You may be a father who’s also a student of the martial arts, a great chef, a good sportsman, and a treasured friend. You may be a mother who’s a gifted dancer, a solid rock climber, a celebrated singer, and a curious photographer. When children see that their role models can be many things, they will learn that they don’t need to pigeon-hole themselves in order to be successful.
(7) Demonstrate confidence in who you are: Whatever you choose to do with your life, be proud of the person you’ve become and continue to become. It may have been a long road and you may have experienced bumps along the way, but it’s the responsibility of a role model to commemorate the lessons learned, the strength we’ve amassed, and the character they’ve developed. We can always get better, however, in order for children to celebrate who they are, their role models need to show that confidence doesn’t start “5 pounds from now,” “2 more wins on top of this one,” or “1 more possession than I have today.” We must continue to strive while being happy with how far we’ve come at the same time.
These are the simple values we talk about and its time we followed them. We need not be super humans to be a role model to our children.
26th January. Republic Day or a public holiday. Which of these is the prime focus of your lives, as parents? A day off from work and office tensions? Or the Republic Day when you take your children to the local flag-hoisting program? Do you encourage them to participate in the Republic Day contests organised by schools and housing co-operative societies?
If one were to define patriotism, it does not merely indicate morals or ethics. Patriotism relates to a sense of belonging for the country that we are born in the motherland. It is about a sense of understanding, high tolerance level and a reasonable national pride.As parents we should teach our children to respect the National Anthem. They have to be told to stand up as a token of respect for the Anthem. Such discipline helps to shape them into responsible citizens.Above all explain them the meaning of the National Anthem and why we celebrate the Republic Day. The date January 26 was not some random date picked out of the calendar. It was on this date in 1927, that the Indian National Congress, then fighting its non-violent war for freedom, voted for complete Independence as against ‘dominion status’. It was the date when members of the INC took the pledge to work towards a ‘sovereign democratic Republic’ of India. Therefore, children have to understand the concepts of democracy, sovereignty and non-violence. Our child must know when did India adopt its Constitution and when did it become a republic. Many children are confused between the Independence Day and the Republic Day. As parents, we should clarify the difference between the two dates. Moreover, our children must know about the important historic facts. The Indian Constitution, finalised with 395 Articles and eight Schedules, was adopted by the Constituent Assembly on November 26, 1949. It is the lengthiest and the most detailed Constitution in the world. As the proverb says, charity begins at home, even patriotism is a feeling which one grows within them only by being inspired by their surrounding, and surrounding for a child is their family…. parents and the other members as well.A parent can very easily be connected to their children so its our patriotism that will motivate and inspire them to grow the love and respect for their country and its very natural a feeling once you sow need the right and valuable guidance to nurture and then later develop it into the finest and true civilian and a countryman. Apart from parents the schools also actively try their part as well but the rest is in the history books… As a parent I feel when you tell them stories why not talk to them about our martyrs and the patriots and make them realize we live in a country called INDIA we are INDIANS and possess a heart huge enough to love, reach out, share and care and above all protect our motherland despite of all hazards. Make them realize their pride is their country and I believe no matter how small they are right values imbibed at the right time will remain as the golden words of scriptures in their heart and will gradually grow up to be a responsible and good human being and an INDIAN above all.
Imagine that you are living inside of a video game, where everything is coming at you at once and every sight, sound and sensation is a distraction. For a child with ADHD, getting through a typical day is something like that—and it explains a great deal about how they experience the world. Children with ADHD typically have impairment of functions such as concentration, memory, impulse control, processing speed and an inability to follow directions. If you’re a parent of a child with ADD or ADHD, this most likely sounds all too familiar. Over the years, you’ve probably struggled through homework sessions with your child, tried (and failed) to get them to complete certain tasks like cleaning their room or finishing yard work, and on more than one occasion, you’ve probably felt completely drained by their high energy and seeming inability to focus.
“Cognitive exercises have been found to produce desired changes in not only how the brain works, but how it looks. What this means is that you have the ability to work with your child to help improve their ADHD symptoms.”
The good news is, there is something you can do to help your ADHD child improve their concentration skills. For years it was thought that each of us was born with a generous supply of brain cells, but that we were unable to produce additional cells or make changes in how they function. Fairly recently, neuroscientists discovered the presence of something called “neuroplasticity” which enables the brain to actually grow additional cells or modify the function of existing cells. Amazingly, cognitive exercises have been found to produce desired changes in not only how the brain works, but how it looks. What this means for parents is that you now have the ability to work with your child to help improve their ADHD symptoms.
As a child psychologist and the father of a son with ADHD, I developed a host of exercises that help ADHD kids improve their concentration. The key is presenting them as games that are actually fun for parents and children to do together.
Here are a few simple suggestions to get you started:
1. The Coin Game: This is one of the games that we use in the Total Focus Program. Parents like it because it improves memory and sequencing as well as attention and concentration, and kids enjoy it because it’s fast-paced and fun. First, you will need a small pile of assorted coins, a cardboard sheet to cover them, and a stopwatch (or a regular watch with a second hand.) Choose five of the coins from the pile (for this example, we’ll say three pennies and two nickels) and put them into a sequence. Now, tell your child to “Look carefully at the coins arranged on the table.” Then, cover the coins with the cardboard. Start the stopwatch, and then ask them to make the same pattern using the coins from the pile. When they are finished, mark the time with the stopwatch and remove the cardboard cover. Write down the time it took them to complete the pattern and whether or not they were correct. If they didn’t complete it correctly, have them keep trying until they can do it. You can increase the difficulty of the patterns as you go, and include pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and half dollars. You’ll see your child’s concentration and sequencing improve the more they play, which is a great reward for both of you.
2. Relaxation and Positive Imagery: Combining simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing with positive visual imagery helps the brain to improve or learn new skills. For instance, research shows that if a person mentally practices their golf swing, the brain actually records the imaginary trials the same as if they were real trials which leads to improvement on the golf course. So ADHD kids can “imagine” that they’re paying attention in class or able to handle teasing, and this can in turn change their behavior at school. You and your child can use your own creativity and give this a try.
3. Mind – Body Integration: An example of this technique would be to have your child attempt to sit in a chair without moving. The parent times how long the child is able to accomplish this. Repeated practice over several weeks will show improvement. Through this activity, the neural connections between the brain and body are strengthened, providing improved self-control.
4. Crossword Puzzles and Picture Puzzles: It sounds simple, but these are great tools for kids with ADHD. Crossword puzzles actually improve attention for words and sequencing ability, while picture puzzles—in which your younger child has to look for things that are “wrong” in the picture or look for hard-to-find objects—also improve attention and concentration.
5. Memory and Concentration Games: Children’s games such asMemory or Simon are great ideas for improving memory and concentration. They are quick and fun. Memory motivates the child to remember the location of picture squares and Simon helps them memorize sequences of visual and auditory stimuli. Through repeated playing, brain circuits are “exercised” and challenged, which strengthens connections and thus improves function. Also, there are some free computer games on the internet that also improve concentration or memory such as Memory and Mosquito Killer. For older children and adolescents, check out the cognitive exercises provided by Lumosity.
As you do all of these “brain exercises,” you should work together with your child serving as his or her “coach.” Provide them with encouragement and track their progress as they improve. This is a win/win solution, because it also strengthens the relationship you have with your child.
Go ahead. Have some fun. Do the exercises along with your child, and who knows, you may find your brain will work a little faster and smarter, too!